Wayward Wife and the Way of LRT

[Georgia Bulldogs]

Confidence and swagger are much better demonstrated by ACTIONS (such as telling the OM's wife and GAL'ing) versus somehow "calmly" "shutting her down" and "looking her in the eye and saying you don't control me" in a nice fashion. She's still completely wayward and doesn't give a crap about logic, reason or fairness. It's all about her (and OM).

Besides. A boundary is NOT "you don't control me". Defacto's boundary is simply not being controlled by his wayward wife and doing what he rationally and confidently FEELS is right for his situation, his wife and his family. She can SAY whatever she wants. You can't control what she thinks or says and her words don't actually have the power to control you. IF they did and she was able to manipulate Defacto with her controlling language into NOT actually speaking with anyone else....THAT would be wimpy and non-attractive.

I think Defacto's doing a pretty good job of avoiding the bait and taking a stand for himself here and there without being antagonistic.

W then says she has shown so much restraint not telling others about the things I've done. And that W wouldn't want our kids to find out and look at me differently. I'm not sure how to respond so I essentially ignore this comment. (W has made numerous unfounded comments about me and has threatened to slander me and pursue full custody)

The. W asks if she has to worry about me with the kids. W says that a person close to me has concerns about my state of mind around the kids.

What "things have you done"? Can you think of anything she may want to tell others you've done?

I don't know what state you are in but you want to research whether your state is a one party or two party consent state for recording conversations. This will determine only whether you tell your attorney about it and can admit it into evidence because regardless, you should be recording your phone calls with her using an app or some kind and carrying around a voice activated recording device or maybe even a MP3 Watch that records conversations. She continues to threaten and insinuate things that make me suspicious that you are being set up for a custody fight. More likely than not it's just part of her manipulation game and lingering exposure anger but having a recording of her THREATENING you with "I'm going to take your kids away from you if you don't stop talking to OM's wife" would be custody battle gold should it ever come to that. Judges don't like parental alienators much but if you don't have a recording of it....it never happened. Protect your backside.

What is your custody arrangement now.....50/50? Absent a court order it can be whatever the two of you agree upon and where the children sleep is what determines child support later on. Spending all day with your D1 doesn't count unless she spends the night too.