WAH - gone almost 1 year, still so hard.

[stacey9]

And so he's gone.

He's off to a live in and explore a beautiful city with OW. It's been a tough few weeks with lots of tears and lots of reminiscing.

I know this is for the best. I don't have to worry about seeing them together and I'm pretty sure I won't see him very often, maybe birthdays and Christmas. It's so difficult to detach when I'm still so incredibly attracted to him and ache to touch him every time I see him.

He never spoke to me about the move - he told the kids knowing they would tell me. Just before he left he spoke to me about the kids for a few minutes and I gave him a plaque one of them had made for him years ago. It is very pretty and was painstakingly embossed with the words "best Dad in the world". He took it and smiled, but didn't show any emotion. Giving it to him then just seemed the right thing to do.

I've been thinking a lot about what he said before and after he left me 15 months ago -
"our marriage has been over for years"
"is this it?"
"I'm fed up looking after everyone else and just want to look after myself"
"this part of my life is over and I want to move on to the next part, I don't know how long it will last, maybe a short time, but it might go on and on"
"if I stayed with you I would be unhappy for the rest of my life"
I think he was in love with OW long before he left and he had been planning his escape for a long time.

I know 6 couples who have split up due to the involvement of an OP. Only one couple have stayed the course, they did not marry but have stayed together for the last 15 years and have 2 children together. Another left her H and moved straight in with the OM. They lived together for 5 years and have recently split up. The remaining four have drifted from relationship to relationship and have still not settled down. None of them have reconciled with their spouses.

I sense this is a new beginning for me. I am devastated he is planning his future with OW, but at the end of the day there is still no guarantee everything will work out. As Calibri said, it can't be rainbows and butterflies all the time.

Another good thing is I will no longer hear stories of H and OW, everybody I know has seen them together and has an opinion.

I am moving on. I will never give up hope of a R maybe sometime in the future but at the moment life is for living and I intend to do just that.

Onwards.