Diana Yes, work on yourself that's the most important thing to do right now. He will have growing to do but it really is something that he has to figure out himself. You cant and shouldn't help him in taking those steps to grow as a person.
Me and W had a similar mother/son relationship so the comment on the first page about you having to take care of a 3rd child really hit home with me. I remember W stating the exact same thing to me a few times in the past and it always bothered me even thought it was true. I would act like a child and depend on her too much for things I could do myself but didn't do. She would treat me like a child and kept providing those things. It just kept getting worse as the years went by and I didn't realize it until after BD.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
