Getting back to me

[Fogg]

You could try to take a moment before you speak out and ask yourself what it would accomplish. Why are you wanting to ask what your asking and what could be the outcomes. It does take a lot of self control, but its possible. You already know hes not giving you any answers, or none that will satisfy you, so all its doing is hurting you.

I had to face this myself a while back because I kept directing any relationship talks we had to OM and asking about it. She would open up quite a bit about it eventually, even telling me she asked him to pick between his girlfriend and her and he choose his girlfriend. She also said something along the lines of "whatever its his loss, hes the one who's going to regret this and be miserable". Its then I somewhat realized I might not ever really get the answer I was looking for. I also realized just how far into a fantasy she is so mind reading is pointless.

I realized I needed to set a boundary, but it was with myself. I wouldn't talk about OM to W or discuss him unless it directly involved setting another boundary. I slipped up last week, but it happens. None of us are perfect.