Moving On - LisaB

[Mozza]

I thought the guy was supposed to chase the girl and I was supposed to sit back and wait.

Yes, that's how it is most often. It's how it's described in Models too, where Manson suggests that the role of men is to move the process along and for the women to send signals (stop or keep going).

But...

I am scared out of my wits.

Welcome to our world! The fear of rejection is incredibly strong (especially for Nice Guys). It is also what can make us stick into bad relationships because we are so afraid, even subconsciously, of going back to the dating scene. Finding the courage to act despite of this fear is one of the reasons I got into dating-while-separated recently. I find it tremendously hard and sometimes just sit there with an attractive woman in sight, lost in my thoughts as to why I won't even walk up to her and introduce myself. I report on some of these situations on my thread. The ultimate goal is to feel confident that I can find someone that can make me happy and not settle for the first attractive AND responsive woman. Getting out of your comfort zone on this will be a huge learning experience for you, to understand what men approaching you are facing, but also to build your confidence that you can be choosy.

By the way, another nugget of advice I got from Models: When you realize someone is not interested, move along immediately. There is no use in trying to convert them. You want someone who's enthusiastic about you. So your goal is to quickly identify whether someone's interested ("polarizing") by asking for a phone number, offering to meet, etc. They are not interested? Next! Plenty of people out there.

By the way, you might want to follow Karma12's thread. She's now dating a fireman who's a bit clumsy, in my opinion, in his approach but apparently interested in her and things are progressing slowly but nicely.