New Here Need advice to get started

[Old Dog]

Man alive AHW, you are dealing with a serious cake eater here. Manipulative, blackmailing, guilt tripping the whole works.

It's a given that you try to follow sandi's rules, but I suggest reading sandi's thread Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife. OK it's written primarily for an LBH but there valuable lessons here. Both links are in Cadet's first reply above.

Sandi espouses tough love in this situation. I believe you have to shock him into believing you mean it. You need plenty of realistic boundaries and the will power to enforce them. It looks like you are already doing some if these. Good for you.

I'm glad you found the forum, it helps a great deal to know there are good people willing and able to help you. And know, it's hard. Really hard. It's been over 10 months for me since bomb day, I finally told my WW to get out when I'm back to see my kids and it helps that she's not here but I still cried in the bath tun this morning.

Keep posting, but don't write essays if you can help it. Manageable chunks if you can. Also seriously consider call the DB professionals. everyone has nothing but good words for them.

And if you able to fill in your sig yet, can you do that. It just helps jog people's memory of your situation.

((( AHW99 ))) this means hugs