Jim, thanks for picking up on the 'so he can't marry again' theme. I agree it isn't a great way to be thinking. Much better to stick with the healthier reasons for standing for our M. The strength rather than fear reasons. RD and Bob, thanks for the vote of confidence. There's a definite theme there - I shouldn't undervalue myself and settle for second best.
I also agree that worrying about whether he would remarry again is a bit of a moot point. After all, the main thing is whether he is 100% into our Ror not in the longer term. If he isn't 100% in, it doesn't really matter what he chooses to do. I'll get there I know.
Pink, thanks for your suggestions. I can see you have picked up on the 'shame' comments. These are Brene Browns' words....and I can't say that I would have seen my life as marked by shame. But she describes us not feeling 'we are enough' as shame. And I do have that feeling sometimes. I got a bit 'serious' in our M - about being a good stepmum, wife, employee. I'd like to reconnect more with the 'free child' part of me, be more accepting of myself, and connect and have more fun with others. I'm going to listen to her two TED talks again, because they did resonate. Her book is also on the way.
As for IC, I did see someone from Sept-Jan, which was helpful. We got to the point where we were both pretty happy with how I was doing, and my outlook on life. But I certainly wouldn't rule out IC again. I'll give it some more thought....
I so appreciate you all posting to my ramblings...have a great weekend my lovely DB friends. And Pink - if you ever came to London, I personally would be 'tickled pink' and would be on the first train down with my 'welcome' bottle of champagne....I'm sure RD wouldn't be far behind on his bike!
xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
