H's MLC #9 Time To Focus on Me

[mleigh4]

2BHappy. Oh boy, do I feel your pain. Living with your MLC'er is not fun! It is extremely difficult to detach well when living in the same house, interacting day to day, really hard. I can't even imagine adding sex to the mix. My H hasn't touched me in a year and a half. But I can relate to your frustration.

You need to do what is best for you. Speaking only for my own situation, I wasn't truly able to detach and have peace until H left, as I am sure you know from checking in with me For my H, I think the smartest thing he has done in 20 months was leave! I love him for it, because I think we both knew he needed to do this in order to work through his issues. However, I was not strong enough to boot him, he made the choice to leave on his own, and did me the biggest favor ever.

It is not easy what you are going through. Your feelings are completely legitimate. Listen to Job's advice, she is one smart cookie. Find things to keep yourself busy. One thing that also helps to ground me is yoga. It's amazing relaxation. Also, spiritual readings. I myself like to read Buddha quotes. Compassion, patience and unconditional love all come into play here in a big way. Think about your vows. Your H is mentally sick right now. He needs his time and space. Give that to him, live your life happily with no expectations from him, and down the road, check in with yourself to see what your next step should be.

Also please remember, this is not about you. It is way deeper than that. Don't take his actions personal. If it was truly about you and your marriage, he would be gone by now. Right?

You can do this