Complex #7 - the green(-card) mile

[Complex]

I validated some and kind of started crying myself
She felt bad, told me about all the great qualities I have, gave me a pretty sincere hug........
...........while writing this she came back out into the living room and cuddled against me, apologized and then we actually had one of the most sincere conversations in a very long time.

Not a bad thing. It hurt me a bit to see that we actually can have a deeper conversation and understanding for each other. But she's also still like "you'll be happy, you'll find someone", but compared to other times she said it with a very warm heart. Then she said "you're all healthy now, you are like the person that I met again" ...say what??? I just replied jokingly "yes, before I got married, lazy and fat, bc that's what ppl do right?" (I'm actually more skinny, and always was lol)
No reason for me to change anything. My feelings right now are out of my M. It's just a question of time. I'm pretty detached from it although it still hurts. I didn't cry in a long time.

I read this all as her just wanting to know that you'll be okay. She does care about you, and it's very much script for wayward spouses to "normalize" things, or at least TRY to. If they can rationalize and tell themselves "everything's going to be okay" -- esp. their betrayed spouse and any kids involved -- then they won't feel as guilty.

Starsky

Good explanation. But what's your approach in this? We don't want to cause guilt feelings, it's not useful for our cause. Neither do we want to comfort them ...
So what do you do in this case?
This is a BIG question IMO. Especially when the end is near. With what impression and feelings should a WAS leave the M?