I know it is now time to detach as much as possible, go dark as dark as I can with my H still in our house, to really see my H as my room mate and s14 father, to see this with my heart.
I need this for me, I have DB I have prayed, I have GAL, I have had IC, I have worked on me.
I need the space mentally to free myself from this emotional prison.
I will try belly dancing, I will lose weight, I will keep my son and myself as my primary focus. I will continue to pray, DB and GAL.
I will not be as available to my H as I have been. I will not be the go between for H and his family. I will pass a message and be done with that! If H calls my cell and don't leave a message I will assume it was not important, so I will NOT rush to return the call. I will try to stop texting H at all, I was texting information about family or house hold things, but I think Id rather leave a note, (like I would a room mate). I have no plans to call his cell or call him at home unless it is a 911 situation.
Sex, not sure how I will handle that,,I don't plan to initate, but I don't know if I will continue to have sex with my H.
When we are home together, I will of course be pleasant, will have conversations with him, when he starts them.
I will try to be away as much as I can when he is home, his work shifts make it easy to do this.
Timeframe, I really want to be able to make a decision by end of this year, that is the timeframe in my head. A decision to stay because things are improving, or a decision to leave because I have had enough, maybe not a D, but a separation if no true visible improvements by end of year.
And the Monday family movie nights, I will have some meetings that I have not gone to on Monday's to be home, I will get back to attending those meetings monthly. I will also accept friends invites for dinner etc on Monday's something I had avoided so I could be home.
Been invited to a Monday night bowling, I may have to really think about taking up that option.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
