Thanks SD - (and Cadet) - Short answer NO. Longer answer - infinitely better than what I was. I can "steer" my thought away with much more control. If I choose I can let her into my thoughts and when I become uncomfortable I can shut it off. But they are sneaky little buggers, sometimes these destructive thoughts get in under my "boundary" and head straight for the tower.
Sadly these thoughts that get through are usually the strongest of those trying, and come with a twist, usually rational, logistic, to do with my Ds and their future, etc - or combinations thereof.
periods associated with the grief cycling i feel have been extended, and I am "happier" for longer periods in between anger, depression etc. but when the depression for e.g. does take hold, i feel like it is stronger than before. good news is though that i am also better equipped to handle it.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
