Never mind. W called me after work and told me she just wasn't going to go to the party. I let her talk about the situation a bit, W said she was having a panic attack and she just turned around and went back home. W said she bribed D4 with a slurpee.
This is why you should have volunteered to take the kid. Your wife is unstable right now. Having "panic attacks" and racing around town with your daughter in the car. Plus you'd be in the company of your supportive friends versus sitting around dwelling on these conversations and text messages.
I told W how excited I was to spend the day with S1 and I told that I would see her tomorrow. I end the call. -- 15 minutes later, W calls back and asks me if I plan to do anymore crazy stuff. I ask W what she means and she refers again to me talking to OM's W. W says I'm responsible for her losing all her friends. Then she says I was responsible for her losing the only friend she had left (the OM?). W says that she has nobody to talk to and nothing to do because of me.
W says I scared OM's W half to death because OM's W felt like I was a stalker.
This is manipulative damage control. It's not a problem because you aren't running around town talking to anyone else but she wants to box you and make sure you don't do anything more. She also doesn't want you taking to OM's wife again so the stalker comment is either made up OR it's part of OM's spin to his wife. I would include this fact in the list of facts you give OM's wife by voice mail (probably wait a couple days so you can add more facts but keep the list handy in case she calls you) along with an indication that are fully aware that this is most likely a lie but if there is any truth to it...please do not hesitate to tell me to bug off. I am not a stalker and not whatever they might be telling you I am. I merely informed you about your husband because I thought it was the decent thing to do. My wife moved out and none of our friends are talking to her because she thinks she's in love with your husband. I know you'd rather believe your husband, whom you love, than some stranger but I am not a liar.
W then says I was a crappy husband. I agree to this. Then W says that I've only gotten worse.
Water off a ducks back. Validate and just keep listening
W then refers to this date again with another OM. And W says that there is not a chance we could ever get back together.
I thought about this last night and wondered if possibly another doctor became aware that your wife was "in play"....meaning OM passed the rumor around that your wife is willing to fall for the powerful Doctor routine and sleep her way up the corporate ladder. There could be some other doctor but this is MOST LIKLEY a fabrication designed to hurt you and throw you (and OM's wife) off the scent of her/their affair. Subterfuge, but speculation is a waste of time and headspace. Water off a ducks back
I then tell W that I need to go and will see her in the AM when I pick up S1. I disconnect the call. --- W then proceeds to text me...
"The most ironic thing is that you, Mr. Logical, wanted to "protect his family and his kids"...how noble...the only thing you've done is harm them by hurting me, spreading rumors, and acting like a crazy person.
I showed so much restraint with tarnishing your name but you just couldn't hold back. What a crappy thing to do. You are not a good person. I don't know who you are.
So please do me a favor, don't talk any more about me to ANYONE. Stop stalking people and acting crazy. I just want to raise the kids the best we can and get this divorce finalized so I can put you in the past.
Is that within your comprehension?"
Yikes! I didn't reply and don't plan to.
She's hurt. Telling OM's wife has KILLED the affair. The "stalking and crazy" comment again tips me off that she and OM are spinning this to her bosses and the OM's wife. They are probably indeed painting you as the controlling stalking crazy jealous husband who she separated from awhile ago who is making up an affair with OM who was just being a supportive friend. They probably claim the "proof" you showed her was fabricated.
This is the kind of text that IF she ever becomes a FORMER wayward wife she will cringe to read or talk about. Calling YOU a bad person she doesn't recognize anymore is just so ironic you sometimes can't help but chuckle and roll your eyes at it. You don't deserve this Defacto. She's out of her mind due to the stress of OM's wife finding out the truth about her life that she's lashing out and desperately trying to put you and the affair back into the secret little box. She's pathetic right now and someone only a husband that promised to "love her in sickness and health, in good times and bad" could possible love at all. God bless you for even considering trying to work this out. You deserve better, but this is your life and I guarantee that YOU are going to make it. I hope we can help you save her in the process
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The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
