So my Parenting Class is concluded and I gave the Certificate to my Attorney already.
The class is mainly about the kids but it include how the parents are behaving during the D process. There was a lot of subjects that we read on these boards. Amazing, lots of domestic violence, emotional and physical abuse.
Sitting there and hearing all what some people are going through I realize how lucky I am that there is none of those in my life. D is painful as it is, I can't even think how much torture it can be if there is violence or abuse, or both.
I feel good today, maybe it is the rain, lots of it. But I feel that some days I let go on my sitch more then others. So, I think I am just average, and will be in a better place more frequently as time goes by.
Part of me is realizing that life goes on and I need to make the most of the years I have left and it for sure is maybe 20% or 30% left at this point. So why waste it all crying for someone that does not love you anymore, does not care enough for you.
Next in my D list is to get to some agreement on the marital home price so I can pay my H's 50% to him. I will keep the house but I want some discount on it as a sale price. I am bargaining the price with him, and it seems that he is not up to the fight and will agree with my price if it is reasonable. We will see.
I also will see if H will contact to make arrangements to come to the house tomorrow night so I can go out. I am really not planning on any GAL, I want to stay alone, quite, and rest a little bit.
I am always on the go mode and I feel tired now. I wish to just lay down and do not do anything or think about anyone.
But, H will never know about this, as far as he knows I will be going out with friends. It's like... I am going out w/someone, somewhere, for sometime. No details, no explanations, my life is mine alone and he is not part of it anymore...by his choice by the way.
