Is there a bottom?

[bravo61]

update:

couple of days ago the XW blew up my phone w/angry texts. accusing me of using the kids as spies to find out what she does, with, friends are, ect. she just wants us to be "honest and polite". that S shouldn't know about her match profile (he saw it when she popped up a match for me). that she is uncomfortable w/me viewing her profile that she says she has since cancelled (guilty of this but have stopped) and of the kids keeping secrets from her.

i told her that i don't know what she does, don't want to know, and its none of my business.i just let her know that i have been honest with her the entire time that i've known her and been polite with her regardless of the circumstances. i told her that the kids come to me w/their concerns and i just listen and love on them. that they share things with me that i will not tell her because she won't believe them or she'll say i'm manipulating the sitch.

she's mad because S caught her in a lie when she said that she wasn't gonna date anyone (turns out she's been on a few dates-admit that gave me a twinge). she told him that she will not go out again.

went to S baseball game yesterday and saw them all. XW told me that she is proud of me in not falling into the depression that i carried around with me in our marriage. she asked me to sit with her. she realized that she forgot to get snacks for the team and said "crap, that must ruin your impression that i've got it all together". i told her that everyone forgets things from time to time and she's doing great.

bad thing is, if i don't get a job soon i'll be homeless. i can get a job back home but that will mean moving 2000 miles away from my kids. so i've essentially in the space of a year gone from being a full time dad, to part time dad, to potentially a 2x a year dad. this is killing me. all for things that could have been addressed with communication and reflection on my part.

the worse thing is is that the other day she even said that she wished that i would've just left the house and came out here without a job and we would've made it. rips my heart out knowing that just one or two things would've made a difference.

God please help me.

S is more resolved than ever for us to be together as a family.

also she is going to Disney World with her b itchy work friends the first week in may and told the kids that "she's going down to FL for work stuff with her friends". S had an epithany while watching disney channel the other night. he said "wait, Disney world is in FL. Mama's going to DW isn't she daddy? she lied AGAIN!" i just told him that he would need to ask her that, it's between them.