Alpha Step At A Time #5

[alpha99]

Thanks Starksy! I appreciate that this sort of thing gets noticed

Well, today is the best I've felt since BD. I had a great night out last night. As I wrote in my last post, I will definitely be doing more of that kind of thing. The people were nice, the quiz was fun, and I had a great evening. I get the feeling I could make some good, new friends by continuing this. As it seems is common, a few more people sent messages saying it was nice to see you there. Certainly my mood is the best it has been in the last few months. Recently I've been quiet with my family and they've been stuck on how to deal with that. They have largely left me alone to deal with things and I've felt quite alone and abandoned because of it. I have been talking a lot more with them today, just about general day to day stuff, almost back to my old self. For the first time in a while I've been able to be positive about the future and future plans without thoughts of my sitch overriding everything.

The girl I mentioned in the post above has messaged me to invite me out tomorrow evening for another kind of meetup thing - gig in another town. She sent the message privately via that site but says that it might become an official meetup group activity. It's not showing as one yet. I don't know what to make of it. It might be fun to go out, and it's highly likely that my tendency to overanalyse things means I'm reading more into it than there is; maybe it is just simply an invite to do something - I don't know the dynamics of the website well enough to know how common this sort of invite would be, but at the same time I don't want to be in a compromising situation. Plus I don't know if I'll go because it will be a struggle with having the kids until they go to bed - but it is nice to be asked.

I am working today (having a little break to type this). I dropped the kids back this morning. The kids brought new toys with them as I picked them up yesterday. Upon dropping them off today at MIL's she said 'oh, new toys, hmmm.' She obviously thought they had come from me and I could tell she was implying I was spoiling them. It's not really any of her business but I did politely say 'oh those, they're from W, not me.' That changed her tune. She said, 'oh right, well I'm saying nothing, just going to bite my tongue.' I said 'yeah, I know... me too.' Understandably because it's her daughter, but when W does something wrong it seems to get glossed over, but if it was me you can be sure that it gets mentioned - that's how it feels anyway. It doesn't really matter though because at this point I don't care what they think about me. I know I'm a good, decent person. I have my faults like everyone else but generally speaking in my whole life there has been no more than a handful of people who I've seen on a regular basis that I haven't gotten along with, so I guess I can't quite be the hideous mutant monster that my W has me pegged as right now.