I believe I basically am living a double life. The one where I put on a extremely hard outer shell that shows I am strong. The one I put on towards my friends and co-workers. The same one that allowed me to be the employee of the year last year in an organization that has over 7000 employees. The same one that acts like nothing is wrong.
Then, there is the real me. The one who constantly wants validation. The one who worries when things are not right. The one who is always concerned when things are not going the way they should. The man that is not the strong man I project. That is where my focus is on now. I focus on becoming that man on the inside as well. I focus on not being the pushover that I had become due to my circumstances. Better yet, I became that pushover because I allowed myself to be that pushover. You do whatever you need to honey, because your job is so stressful and you should take care of yourself.
Yes men are very good at wearing MASKS. And then they have all this pain behind the mask.
Best thing I can suggest is not to run away from this PAIN but confront it head on. It is not your wifes fault that YOU carry around this PAIN. That is all on YOU.
So you need to unravel why you feel this way - I mean really why - what is deep inside that is causing it and what can YOU do to FIX yourself. Cause in the end that is the only person that we can CONTROL and really FIX! OURSELVES.
