It will hurt for a very long time but you will get over it. You have come a long way since you found out.
You are a young man with obviously a lot to offer. There are no children involved so if you take the positives from your sitch, once your divorce is done you will be able to move on fully with your life. You will meet someone else and although you'll never forget what has happened the pain will disappear. You will have no reason to keep in contact unless you wanted to.
As far as the other stuff, its just WAW script, her friends will validate that what she has done is ok because, well, they're her friends and they will back her. People knowing about what she has done......my view.......not your problem.....she shouldn't have done it if she is somehow ashamed. You haven't nuclear outed her but you have sort support in your family. They/you are not obliged to keep her secret.
