I should add here -- for OG, and for anyone else following along -- that it's imperative that you do NOT come across as mean, vindictive or in any way "punishing" by your reticence to jump at the wayward spouse's first pronouncements about being interested in the marriage again.
Instead, it should be an attitude of "Hmmm, I'm not sure HOW I feel about that anymore," and you should be upbeat and strong about it -- even a little friendly (like you would treat a close neighbor). Ideally, this attitude would come across NATURALLY, because you really ARE now -- after all your GAL and introspection and behavior changes and improvements -- unsure about whether or not you want to jump back in to a previously-dysfunctional relationship with your wife. But even if you do NOT naturally feel that way, it's important to "fake it until you make it" at this critical stage.
I've said it before, repeatedly, and I'll say it again here: letting the formerly (or possibly STILL) wayward spouse back into the marriage too easily is THE #1 mistake I see people make here.
