Take a deep breath, unfortunately he is involved with OW and is now tangled between his M and his adventure. I have been learning to take care after myself and let go of all the craziness that comes from my H.
The Yo-Yo of emotions, the roller coaster of indecision, it will drain all your energy and you go nowhere.
It's time to retrieve and take a good view of what is going on, what has happened and what need to happen. You can't control his actions, reactions, decisions. You can't control what he feels and what is happening to him.
The only one you can control is yourself and your life. So, it;s time you need to make the most for yourself. Start looking for things you can do that will take your main focus from your H. You will feel better and it will give you the strength you need to fight for your M.
As you know, there is no guarantees that there will be any R, but you will at least know that you tried it all. By other hand, you also know that your H is very confused, he got lost and for sure is having and will have a hard time dealing with his guilty, shame. It will haunt him until he comes to his senses.
That you need to lose all your hope? NO. You can hope that some time in the future you can find that love again and be happy together. That you need to just have hope and sit around moping? NO. You need to became attractive, beautiful, interesting, mysterious. You need to develop a life on your own.
Read the stories here and start learning that you don't want to pursue, be needy, go after him as he was the main reason for your life. Time makes us stronger, time will teach you to give yourself value and allow you to learn to put yourself first.
I know it is the hardest thing you will ever do. It hurts, and then hurt a little more. But it is the only way. You will need to became a woman only a fool will leave. You will analyse the situation and stop going on cheeseless tunnels.
Start by telling us what you are doing for yourself. Are you taking any antidepressant to easy the shaking, the constant pain, anxiety, depression? Do you exercise frequently? Do you have hobbies? What are you planning to do as GAL? Do you have a friend or two to support you during this difficult time?
Do you have family around that can help? You need to focus on you now and start feeling good about yourself.
Let your H do what he needs to do, eventually he will wake up and see all what he is doing. In the mean time, be prepared that he will try to came back, he will be confused and will try to drag you along the insanity. If you are religious, keep your faith strong now, it helps big time.
Be strong honey, you have a long way to go. Remember that it is not a sprint, it is a Marathon.
