Complex #7 - the green(-card) mile

[Complex]

Well. I did see her again and it was very pleasant. It's not like that this is sustainable tho ...very obvious that woman wants to get down my pants......

Setback today: W coming home from her grandma and finally found out that my parents leaked that she had an affair. They seemed to have said it in a way though that it sounded it was a PA, ("She has a lover") which is was not. So she was obviously upset.

I tried not to argue, validate her feelings. But I also clearly stated that she DID have an A. EA, PA..doesn't matter. A is A.
She explained she still wants to get D. All the people she is talking to are like "things happen"...wtf. What morally degraded bs are we living in? Everyone just seems to validate her.
I just said "in my books it is not ok, that is not how this should work".
She has the same arguments all the time: "you cheated on your ex too" - my standard reply: "I didn't promise her my life and everything, I didn't marry her".
But I got out of the cheeseless tunnel right away, on the verge of getting mad and did a 180 and got happy again.
It's really interesting how W thinks she's happy right now. I see in her eyes she's not really.

Told her I do not want to fight or argue the same things we always do. I think I made a very authentic approach this time. She gets that I am much better off and that I am moving on. I
Validated some and kind of started crying myself
She felt bad, told me about all the great qualities I have, gave me a pretty sincere hug........
...........while writing this she came back out into the living room and cuddled against me, apologized and then we actually had one of the most sincere conversations in a very long time.

Not a bad thing. It hurt me a bit to see that we actually can have a deeper conversation and understanding for each other. But she's also still like "you'll be happy, you'll find someone", but compared to other times she said it with a very warm heart. Then she said "you're all healthy now, you are like the person that I met again" ...say what??? I just replied jokingly "yes, before I got married, lazy and fat, bc that's what ppl do right?" (I'm actually more skinny, and always was lol)
No reason for me to change anything. My feelings right now are out of my M. It's just a question of time. I'm pretty detached from it although it still hurts. I didn't cry in a long time.