[Notlikingthis]

Bright, You ARE the prize. That is something that we all have to remind ourselves of and we have to do it often! This journey that we are on gets tiring at times and we just want to walk away from all of it. We do have that option as Shining said and can leave our R/M when we choose. I look at it this way. I've been at this for 4+ years if we count the beginning my h journey. I think that's about the same amount of time that you've been dealing with you h's mlc as well. I have decided to watch it play out while as I enjoy my new life.

It's always harder when we have interactions with them. It hurts to see them struggling with their issues, trying to find their way and what's up with their appearance? The Mothership should seriously consider adding a Spa! In some ways it would be easier if they went away and came back when they were fully baked. LOL

That woman that you h "married" sounds like a real prize, doesn't she? Don't give that Band-Aid another thought! Who else would have them while they're going through their mlc? Most of the ow appear to be trash or broken in one way or another. He was attracted to you 20 years ago because of you are a classy, intelligent woman. Right now he feels that he doesn't deserve you. Job is so right when she says that they feel guilt and shame. As they move further along in their journey, regain their self-esteem, confidence and redefine themselves they deal with the shame and guilt. From what I've read here some of them will ask for forgiveness, others can't forgive themselves (that's where my h is right now) and some come back without acknowledging that it was an issue.

You are doing so well! I've been away for 4 months and I've seen a change in you. I think it's detachment that I'm seeing.

Keep the focus on yourself and continue having fun, smile and be polite when you have to deal with your h. He WILL remember that.