Pyrite: Eye of the storm?

[Zues126]

Tough spot. I personally wouldn't be satisfied with that arrangement and would probably say something like (ccing mediator):

"We're making decisions that will be very important for our family's future. We've agreed to try the route of mediation as it's never ideal to turn over control of those decisions to a third party such as the courts. That said, for mediation to continue to be a viable option for me I would need to see us improve in our communication. This would mean getting responses to the emails I've sent and having replies phrased with a respectful tone. I'm open to feedback on what you may need from me to make this more effective as well. This is an emotional time but I'm still willing to set those feelings aside for now as we work together for our children's best interest."

i have said this, but i will try CC the mediators well. Not that it make a difference. She admitted the other night she doesn't look at my emails.

Ah, but it DOES make a difference...so when you go L only and quit responding to her you know it wasn't reactionary. It will be following through on a reasonable boundary. And that doesn't mean she won't think you're being controlling. It will mean YOU will know better for YOURSELF.

This is about you, your boundaries, your motives. What she does with it is no longer your game. You'll still interact at times, and you can validate at times, etc. She might someday realize you're not acting the same. But don't monitor her for that type of recognition, because you can't control that and it is a big distraction. Keep steering your ship!