Pyrite: Eye of the storm?

[Zues126]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhh. I didn't read your last post correctly (OOPS, several posts ago, about your W was like that before she was with you, eggshells, etc). I see you were saying that she's always been this way so it wasn't your behavior that contributed to it.

Let me ask- is she treating OM that way?

Seriously, you have to let go of the score card.

You're not 100% to blame. She's not 100% to blame. But I am telling you as plainly as I can, you are MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE RESPONSIBLE for the outcome of this situation that you are acknowledging.

I heard once to make a M work you can't just compromise and meet in the middle. You both have to meet the other person all the way to their side. It's not a 50/50 compromise. Both parties compromise 100%. Because when both are trying for a "fair" compromise both parties start haggling over what's fair, and both parties feel it's unfair in the other party's favor. Instead you both give what you feel is unfair, and you do it graciously. Only if both people feel that way can you both maybe get it done.

You're sitting on the sideline trying to be fair and reasonable, trying to accept a fair amount of responsibility, trying to accept a fair amount of blame. When it seems like people are blaming 100% on you you're responding with "whoa, I'm not 100% responsible for my M's problems, I'm not the only imperfect human in this R". What you're not seeing is that you're failing to execute the "I will take 100% accountability and give 100% towards meeting her all the way" approach that is ***REQUIRED*** to succeed.

And you shouldn't be so cocky about your evaluation of what's fair. Because your idea of fair just cost you your W. So STFU and accept an unfair amount of the blame for a while and you might find out down the road you deserved more than you thought.

And I say that with nothing but love Py.