Maybell XXXIV: Expecto Patronum!

[Maybell]

Ok, so I'm meant to toughen up. Time to rise to the challenge.

[Old Dog]

At least anger helps you toughen up and stay strong. How you let go of resentment is another thing though.

Maybell I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself. Your recent stories about your marriage have been shocking. I am so sorry you have been abused in this way; for it is abuse and you certainly don't deserve it. What a selfish jerk he is.

((( Maybell )))

[claire7]

I'm so sorry Maybell. Want to share what happened?

[Maybell]

His draft settlement offer is very hurtful. And he attempts to interfere in my personal life, which is insulting considering how he's conducting his.

The amount of money the three kids and I are supposed to live on is only very slightly more than the amount of money he's going to use all for himself.

But I am an amazing woman. Other women before me have done a lot on less money than this. I had hoped to protect my kids from some of the impact of his selfishness, but that won't be possible.

I'm going to throw up from the staggering change in lifestyle he's inflicting on me.

Do you hear that, Zues? I was the loyal party. I gave up my own life to support everything he wanted from his and I'm being put out like the trash.

[claire7]

What does the law in your state say? Are you entitled to any maintenance or spousal support?

Ugh. I'm so sorry maybell.

[raliced]

Maybell- Was this something he prepared directly - or does he have a lawyer representing him? Unless he specifically tells them he wants to be accomodating they are going to try for the best deal they can get for him.

How the heck is he trying to interfere in your personal life?

Have you had a chance to run this by your own lawyer yet?

[labug]

Maybell, breathe (and you can tell me to go to hell, I won't hear it).

You make this personal and although it's difficult not to, you have to see it for what it is. And it's not about you, it's about his shortcomings, his always being taken care of, his bag o' crap he's carrying around.

Stop allowing this guy influence how feel about yourself. Do not believe him! None of us do. He's an adolescent in a grown up body.

This is not the end, this is his first offer. It's meant to undermine you.

Do Not Let It!

Use your anger as a shield not a sword. (Mach1)

[Vanilla]

This is about Fins. A numbers game and the funds to live your life. Fins and lifestyle.

MB remove the emotion, take the feelings out of it, it is your future and that of your kids. Time to take the boxing gloves out of their wrappings and shape up.

It's just money and you need your fair share of it to live on. That big no you just did, that energy and drive is needed now. V is very tough on Fins, go mama bear on this, protect those Cubs and honey jar.

Serious time, sweetheart. Keep your cards to your chest, trust your instinct and your best L moves.

V

[Maybell]

Thanks, y'all. I hear you. I'll add more in a bit.

I realize it's business. But to get to business I think I have to feel my emotions first.

One of the things I've decided is: no matter how this plays out, I will be ok. I've heard a lot of stories of people who've gone through tougher than this and come out amazing. I'm every bit as capable as any of them. I will show my kids power and they will be stronger for it.

[Zues126]

I hear you Maybell.

I wish there was a standard court formula...then the party that left the M automatically got 50% of what that normal settlement would be. So a WAH's support would be huge if he left, but a WAW's maintenance would be minimal if she walked. And infidelity would be even more heavily penalized. Maybe if the courts penalized infidelity and lack of commitment the grass wouldn't look so green.

Of course that's a joke, I understand that can't work. The courts are all about the children, not the parents, and should be. And there are times when even I agree a D is necessary for safety, so if it worked that way then the leaving party would just drum up some false charges, etc. It was such a stupid suggestion I won't even go on. Definitely difficult to the LBS though.

I do feel for you Maybell and I pray that you'll get through the challenges you're facing and the anger it's waking up in you. It's good to hear what it has to tell you so I'm glad you're listening.