I know that you are really confused right now and it seems that the advice given to you is straightforward but you still can't grasp it.
One analogy that put it into perspective for me is that your wife just fired you and you were shown the door.
Going back to work and being an exemplary employee would be seen by your ex boss as pitiful. Sending them emails telling them they should take you back? Spying on what is going on within the company? Inviting yourself to the company picnic in June?
No. None of those things.
You need detach from your wife. Just like your ex boss who may be a reference sometime later, you're not going to do or say anything stupid.
Pick yourself up, mentally separate yourself from the company, aka your W. That's Detaching.
Update your resume, get training. Go knock on doors. That's GAL.
Interacting with your ex boss assuming he may be a potential reference. That's 180.
