Mr. Bond: I felt guilty, especially at first. As the A's went on and on I blocked out the guilt some. But I do believe I was having a hell of an inner conflict. Anger, mood swings, harsh to my W and S. Controlling W and S as much as I could. The guilt was especially bad around her Christian family, Christian friends and sitting in church. I knew what I was doing was wrong especially in the eyes of God. How I've changed around the W. I am no longer controlling, not a smidgen of that, nor am I moody, especially angry, I am being respectful, kind, loving, caring, patient, but that is hard when she is disconnected and hardened to me. I am working on detaching, 180, following Sandi's rules, even going dark, but I have been conflicted, even when discussing with my DB coach, I have asked do I do all these things even though I drove her to the OM and gave her the hardened heart? I will continue to be loving and respectful in any way I can. I have been pouring into my S-9. My W has mentioned several times how she has seen the bond between my S and I really strengthen in the last couple months.
SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014 ILYBNILWY JAN 2105 OM JAN 2015 W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015 Dbing April 2015 H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
