Journaling: --- W just called to talk again about splitting up finances and why I wasn't ready to move forward. I told W that I think it's best for me to be patient, to think things through, and review what the best outcomes are for the kids, her, and I. W asked me how I was going to do that. I told W that I was meeting with L today. W replied by asking me if I wasn't going to split everything 50/50. I told W that it was my understanding that it worked that why but I wasn't sure. --- W then told me that her boss has already called her about the A at work. W told me that she's afraid she might lose her job. W tells me that it would be my fault if she did.
W asked me if I regretted my decision to tell OM's W. I responded by saying that I have thought about the decision a lot the past day.
W then told me that the sad part about all of this is that she actually has a date with another OM. I paused a bit and then told W that I do care about her and want the best for her and I love our children more than anything. Then I told W that those truths will guide my decisions going forward.
W wanted to keep talking but I told her that I needed to go and wished her a good day.
If she loses her job =
1. It would be HER fault for violating an ethical standard set by the hospital forbidding inappropriate workplace relationships. Your telling OM's wife has nothing to do with her job or the rules of her job.
2. If she loses her job....it would absolutely give you a much better chance at recovering your marriage....in time.
Most likely she's bluffing about the job AND certainly, the date. She's very vested in punishing you for exposing because you hit the bullseye. She wants to dwell on this because, in her warped mind, it helps her justify and rationalize leaving you, divorcing you, hating you and believing you two could never work out. This will pass. Especially if the affair truly ends and even faster if she leaves that workplace.
The second OM comments are most likely just a further attempt to hurt you. Take it as an indication again that you've really hurt the affair. The more you hurt it....the madder they get. You've done well.
It's a good thing she's at her parents house. Seem to recall you saying they supported you. Might be a good time to call them and let them know you are doing OK and merely did what you think was right and what you fully expect and know their daughter would have done to you if you were the one cheating on her with a married work colleague. Don't blow it up more than it is. You did what you had to do. Redirect to more pressing problems....you can't take it back even if you wanted to.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
