At home, W came up to me and asked me if I saw the new FB message from OM. I had not. She said what is said and I asked what she wanted to do about it. W said that she was not going to respond to it and block him. I waited a little. I said, and in a somewhat attempt to see where her mind was, "lets wait until this evening, send one more simple message to let him know that it cannot go on." She responded, "I would rather just delete it and block him." Good. I then mentioned that I felt that there would be a much more positive outcome if we were both just straight forward with each other with our feelings, regardless of the topic, and sooner than later. She agreed.
This ^^^ was a big positive from her. You should have THANKED HER for being honest with you about OM's FB post, rather than preachy and telling her how things could have more positive outcomes all the time.
You're doing very well, under extremely trying circumstances. I'd just like to see you tone it down a SMIDGE in the holier-/smarter-than-thou stuff, but maybe that's just me.
I've always said that full transparency is for the betrayed spouse AND the formerly wayward spouse, and I've also said that some cheaters are "unwilling" but some are just "unable." Your wife SEEMS to be more in the latter camp, and that too is good. Keep helping her, stay firm, and keep up with the MC and her IC. It's a long slog, but I do see some hope here if she can keep from hurting herself or doing anything else stupid.
