WAW-- LRT in action

[SadDood]

Also, I've been seeing a psych for meds and I really think the meds are helping.

Was scheduled for IC with another lady, but wasn't able to make the appointment and had to reschedule. Somewhat afraid to go the first time, but I'm going to go no matter what. I don't like that they call it psychotherapy for some reason. I'm not a psycho.

Off the topic, but I'm starting to understand the FOG scenario.

At one time (summers during college), I was a charter boat Captain. I was very good with people and navigating rough waters. I rarely had a deckhand and prided myself on being a hard worker and providing people a positive experience (and seeing how happy they were to catch fish). I had a lot of confidence and people could see it. I had to maintain my cool and be calm in all sorts of crazy situations- i.e., extremely rough seas, anchor lines caught in props against a strong tide, faulty motors, and sometimes deep fog.
Usually, the fog was no big deal, I had radar and gps, as well as a compass (which was rarely used). One time, the fog was so thick that I couldn't even see the bow of the boat from my captains chair. The tide was ripping and the seas were rough. When the seas are rough, you can't just cruise in a straight line, you have to zig zag and quarter the oncoming waves. It's difficult even without the fog. Anyway, My radar locked up, and the GPS stopped working. I had a compass, but it wasn't moving smoothly (there were air bubbles or something causing it to hesitate and get a hitch in it's movement). I just didn't trust the compass. We could hear air horns of an oil tanker very close to us. I was panicking internally, but didn't want my clients to see my fear. I braced myself before turning around to face them (after troubleshooting) and put on my gameface. I told them everything would be alright and that the tanker has radar and would miss us. The clients instantly looked relieved. Here I was, some young college kid, taking the lead and calming everyone (much older than I) down and showing leadership. Eventually, since the compass was all I had, I had to trust it. Even though it wasn't working properly, it would eventually settle enough so that I could get a general bearing. I just putted along, zigzagging, through the rough waves, and since I couldn't see them clearly, I wasn't able to quarter them like normal. The boat would get rocked occasionally from the side, but my boat was very seaworthy and I knew this. I had been in much worse seas and trusted my boat, despite not trusting my compass. Eventually, I was able to break through the fog and find the coast. I was WAY off course. I knew this, but the clients did not. I followed the coastline until I could find a recognizable structure. At that point, I knew exactly where I was. WAY off course. Once I had my bearings, I was able to get the boat back into the harbor safely. This is a true story, and I have a feeling this is what WW's do, but without the leadership ability and trust of a seaworthy boat. Eventually, I think they find the harbor OR they just go in circles or run aground.

Probably not the most anecdotal story, but maybe someone could help me find some parallels.