Again, I realize this is very difficult and I feel saddened each time I read a new thread. However, you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the "whys?", "hows?" and "how could theys?" with people who are not completely rational at the moment. The reality is that although his announcement may have seemed sudden, your h has been internalizing and mulling a change for a looooong time. He removed himself a while back but neglected to tell you until BD. Please know I don't say any of this to be hurtful.
Why doesn't he file for divorce? I'll be blunt......could be a number of things...laziness, doesn't want to go thru the effort, doesn't want to deal with anything, doesn't want to be seen as a bad guy, doesn't really want one (now that also doesn't necessarily mean he wants to work on the M either), etc. It is possible that your h is continuing with counseling to say "he tried everything" to alleviate guilt. Keep reading here. You will see and hear it all.
For your own benefit, take the focus off him. You cannot "talk" him out of this. Actions speak louder than words. Detach and focus on making your life rich. Can you rebuild a R with your h? It is certainly possible although it probably won't be in the time frame you are hoping for.
What do you want? What is important to you? Going to IC is a good step for you and it sounds like you understand the importance of taking care of YOU. Hang in there. It DOES get better:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
