Good morning. Just want to say that I have been processing this in my mind. My mind is a little calmer since talking with my Pastor last night. I had a role in what happened. I'm not a complete innocent victim here. I had indications and warnings that something was not right here but I didn't want to be embarrassed by putting it out there directly and I liked the feeling of having someone contacting me and validating me...it felt nice. Sure, I asked her a couple of times to explain her behaviour putting her in a spot that she was unable to respond to properly but I never said "I need to talk about this..." I could have been more direct. I'm sure she just legitimized her part by telling herself that nothing was really happening and why venture into uncharted and maybe embarrassing waters for both of us. So we both just sailed on. Anyway, all I'm saying is that I was not an innocent victim here but made choices that added to the inappropriate way she let me know...but I pushed her to that cuz I wanted a conclusion. The reason she asked me on Sunday was because I told her that I would not be asking her to do things anymore...if she wanted my company she was going to have to ask me. She did...and now I know what the truth is...that's what I wanted, wasn't it? When I met with Pastor I told him that i realize that my view of what happened is probably coloured to make me look and feel justified and I'm sure she has a different perspective. I said the reality is probably somewhere in the middle. So anyway, I could have done things differently too. 'nuff said for now
