So time for a bit of a pep talk. I read through here and saw myself 8 months ago. Go back and read my threads if you want. I was just as confused (then again it seems we all are) I saw how calm and collected W was and was like "Wow, she's done..done" I didn't even know there was any problems in our M.
76, our WW have prepared for this; its scripted. They felt comfortable with the BD. But if you're like most of the sitches here, LBS and WW are total opposites during BD heading in different directions. WW are bold and confident and then the clock starts ticking on the downward spiral, it seems like most WAS referenced here get worse as time goes by...why? Because their unhappiness is in themselves. Running away from a H/M/kids is not changing that.
On the other hand, we are at the lowest point (I literally was in a fetal position crying on the sofa in front of my mom a few days after BD) and then we start getting 'better.' Better is not the right term probably improving is more relevant, but we do. It seems like about 3-4 months after BD, is where we (WAS/LBS) tend to be at the same points as we pass each other, both miserable. Then they get continue to get worse and we continue to get better. And (I just posted this somewhere else) God Willing, they get to a point that they realize that they still have the same feelings they were trying to run from and then....get help.......then and only then does the path seem to have the ability to start to mend. But none and I mean absolutely, positively none of this can we control. I read these things and thought "nah, my sitch is different, I can just talk to her and she'll come back" That was 8 months ago (to the day, now that I think about it)
76, its tough, but look out for 76. Get out, take the kid(s) out, hang out with people. Its gut wrenching, but like I said, its the first step to improving.
You can do this.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
