Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

Ok, so tonight H comes in the kitchen and starts talking to me excited about what he bought today (a cigarette roller). Takes me out to the lanai and shows everything to me and explains how it works and then shows me....sharing his excitement even over something simple with me...

But, I totally blew it later in the evening. We were at the dinner table and he brings up our trip this summer. Says "we need to sh!t or get off the pot" about making our decision on the logistics. (I chuckled about the "sh!t or get off the pot" and said oh really). Basically talking about if we are driving or flying and timeframe. D16 gets upset because I said we were leaving after the 4th because of D13's sport schedule. So I asked him what his plan was and he states he is driving by himself because he is stopping places on the way to pick up parts for his jeep project so he's pulling the trailer, oh and by the way he's taking my vehicle. Ok, so when are you planning on going. Well, his family (that he invited to stay at our place without even discussing it with me first) is going to be there on the 22nd and we need to be there before that so he's thinking about going up there around the 1st and staying a couple of months. The first thing I said is if you're going before the 4th take D16 with you. But I was visibly pissed, and he called me on it to which I replied "must be nice to be able to go for a couple of months and not worry about your family down here." He made some comment about of course I'd still worry about them, and was grumbling about giving him a guilt trip as he was walking out the door, so I made a comment about walking away while we were talking.

I also mentioned his surgery and recovery time and physical therapy and how that would play in to all of this...

It was fine a little later, he came in and gave me a glare but it was in jest and I started laughing and when I was watching TV he came and sat down and watched with me.

So, I know I handled that poorly, probably similar to how I would have in the past. Honestly, this is something he would have done before BD and I would have handled it the same.

So here's some reasons that I've decided I'm pissed about it:
-obviously he's given no thought to the girls (or me which I shouldn't expect but still hope for)
-he's leaving me to take care of everything again and quite honestly it's been nice to not have to do everything by myself and to be ok doing things and not feeling guilty for leaving the kids alone (even tho they are plenty old enough)
-I'm jealous because I would love to stay up there for a couple of months
-also, I have a hard time taking a long weekend but it's no problem for him to go for a couple of months....

I have a coaching session tomorrow but I'm guessing I should just let this go.