Look, to be perfectly honest, you're going to have to get off your pity party because if you want people to feel sorry for you, that's not going to save your M.
Detail to us your marital history. How you and your W met, things that happened, how you got to this point, etc. Try not to focus everything on your A's. Talk about your M.
" then I start thinking I cant and don't want to lose her, she's the only one that could ever love someone as broken and messed up as I have been over the years."
This is just more control on your part. You want what you can't have. And the fact that you say that you can't promise that you won't cheat again speaks volumes. If at the very least, I'm sure you don't want your son remembering you as the guy who treated his mom like dirt by abusing her.
If you want to save your family and to become an honest man for a change, then you need to start now.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
