Like after being intimate the thought of the two of them came to my mind and it hurt like hell.
I can totally relate to that. H and I were just getting ready to ML one day and everything just hit me. I started sobbing and H held me close and apologized for everything he put us through. It helped calm me down and we moved on. It's totally normal for things to trigger you. Tell H what you need from him when that happens. I have read that for awhile after an A it's like you have PTSD. I think it's true. Be gentle with yourself. Time and patience are your friend.
I don't think we are ever fully prepared for what piecing is going to be. You have this vision in your mind that once they are back things will be so much better. In truth, it's still hard and it's still painful. You just have someone whose hopefully working with you and not against you now. You need to feel the pain and deal with the emotions in order to truly move forward. It takes time.
Piecing requires a different skill set than you used during the crisis. Some of its the same, but a lot of its not. I found that I still needed to make sure I was doing things with friends and taking time for myself. That's important even when you're in a good M. The communication is more open than closed now. It's good to talk with H about your feelings and the things that trigger you. Just don't let it consume all of your time. You two need to have some time that is just fun. Even though it's really hard, it's crucial to bring you two closer.
((((Cherry)))) It will get easier. I promise you will not always feel like someone's stabbing you in the heart. It dulls over time as you see the continued change in both yourself and your H. Have you two talked about going to MC now?
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
