I Want You

[rob123]

Well, when I came home last night at around 9:45, my W was still awake with my S. I could see the hurt in her eyes when she was looking at me. I almost broke down when she looked up at me with her beautiful eyes, and I could see the hurt in them.

I simply jumped in the shower and then came to bed. I woke up this morning hoping that my nightmare would be over. I woke up this morning wishing there was the EASY button to push. I had a difficult time sleeping last night and I kept questioning my decision to leave the house for a bit last night.

I know it is counter-intuitive, but why would I feel bad about doing that? I guess it is because I absolutely hate hurting my wife. Or being the cause of hurt. Maybe that is why we have gotten where we are today. Because I have always been the person to come swooping in to help out with her problems. I was the one who always made things better. I was the one who would silently wonder, when she is telling me her problems, why does nobody care about my problems?

Damn, this is so difficult. I wanted to do nothing more than give her a huge hug yesterday when me and the kids got home yesterday from work/school. My wife was smiling, in a great mood... and I just said hi, smiled, and told her I was going to meet some co-workers.

I feel, for some reason, like this could be turned around on me. Like I am the one who is not willing to work on our relationship. I can promise you, I am willing to do whatever it takes to save my M. I told my wife that. Maybe part of the problem is that I am so worried about hurting my wife that it has hampered my ability to enjoy life for me.

Just rambling now...