I just struggle to see my H as a narc. Manipulative, yes. but the thing with narcs I thought was an over exaggerated sense of self confidence, big ego, every convo has to be about them. Overly self-important. This was none of my H. I question everything. Was yours mellow like this? There's just so much out there about narcissism, idk of the label is so wide reaching when ppl are just jerks. My bestie described H as non violent psychopath. Other words that have since been used to describe him: spooky, immature, definitely off, not half way normal, maybe mentally ill, charmer.
Did he have empathy? Yes. His eyes watered a bit listening to me, even at breakfast. Despite his claims of not caring or wanting to think. He was always crying actually, big emotional swells, but I have a nagging feeling about that - like anger was the biggest, everything else was calm, except for a sometimes childish mania or anxiety. Kind to animals. Seemed thoughtful, very. It was one of the things I loved about him.
Even if he was/isn't narc, did/didn't have episode - I could never trust him again.
Gg, what outcome in your sitch do you stand hoping for?
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
