[BrightFuture]

So, wanted to have a separate post about my feelings. My feelings went from indifference when I heard the story about H and crazy woman staying in same room on their trip, to feeling sorry for H looking at him while we were at the bar, to feeling really sad next morning. Sad about what was, and that he was not the H I knew anymore. He is a different person who choose to have a different life.

I know he is not happy. I know he feels like he painted himself to the corner. But, I don’t think he knows how to get out of there. It looks like he is continuing to dig himself deeper in the hole.

And I’m sad too. I remember what it used to be, but I have no interest in H the way he is now. Am I crazy? I still don’t know how to reconcile the two worlds.

In a way, learning this “cr@p” about H helps me to detach more. But, at the same time I think it closes the door to a possible R, if there is any possibility of it. Does it make sense?