You are correct 5 months is not enough to prove permenant change. Yes, she did get my attention by finding OM and disconnecting. You are right if this did not happen I would have continued. I certainly did disrespect my W and son over and over again.
My A's started in the first 6 months of marriage. Some were caught others were not. I had 10 physical/emotional affairs and several online. Some lasted as long as a year others were one nighters. I did like the attention of the A's yes. But again I did feel guilty but not enough to stop. I did get caught a lot, I was not careful but several did not get found out. I never outright admitted any of the A's. Most of the women were acquaintces through work or school.
Lastly, and I will write more tommorow. My wife should not trust me or want to stay with me. It will take a long time to rebuild trust. I do love her and care for her deeply even though I never acted like it. I will certainly have to think on this one hard as I am at a real loss for words as to why she should stay.
