Alright, friends. I did it. I signed the waiver agreeing to the terms of my divorce, allowing it to go through. Assuming stbx submits the waiver right away, and the judge signs off on the agreement, I could officially be a single gal in one week.
I met him at my bank yesterday after work, since my signature had to be notarized. Yeah…of course he waited outside in his car. Funny, I expected exactly that… ch!ckensh!t avoidance behavior. It has been so prevalent for the past 3 years now. It was as if he just pulled up to a fast food drive-thru, and rolled his window down to pick up his order. At that moment, it occurred to me how much disregard he has for me, for the marriage, and even for himself.
I surprised myself at how well I kept it together. I was actually in a rather calm state of mind. I smiled. I was very business-like. Oh…and I just-so- happened to look kinda fabulous yesterday, as luck would have it. ***fist pump with a whispered celebratory “yes”***
I know there will still be pings of sadness for the dreams that were never realized. It’s ok, though. I get to create new dreams now.
The anger still comes in small doses, too. Mainly when I struggle financially, or when I am not able to do things like I used to for my kids. I’ll get there again, though. I know what I need to do. This ain’t my first rodeo.
This stuff sure isn’t easy. It certainly isn’t what I ever wanted for my life. But it’s what I got. And I’m going to figure it out. Again.
