Pyrite: Eye of the storm?

[Pyrite]

i can see this Caet. it makes perfect sense. maybe thats another issue i am struggling with. apart from the clear rejection of BD. there is every likelihood (skeptically i think like 99%) that she will reject me again.

i suspect things will just have to die off naturally, then we MAYBE become friends again naturally, and then I suppose I should wait for signs from her.

i am getting way too far ahead of myself i know. focus on ME, NOW. what will happen later will happen. but its not easy - especially for a control freak!

i might not want a R with her blah blah - anything could happen. 6 months ago i absolutely did not think I would be considering my life in this light