Pyrite: Eye of the storm?

[Pyrite]

This idea that your STBX is so crazy it somehow changes this pricipal and we just don't understand it has to go. We get it. But you have to let go of monitoring/judging her behavior. That's why we're saying you're controlling. People that aren't controlling don't do this. You do it so innately you can't even see you're doing it. Maybe it's like breathing, you don't know another way to operate? I'm not attacking Py, just curious why this is such a hang up.

big help - "we get it" - no one has actually acknowledged this. makes it easier for me to let it go here.

"People that aren't controlling don't do this."
I know. my brother-in-law has sort of been my role model. He is a great H etc. i desperately wanted to react more like he did, but until recently (here) didn't realise what exactly it was - and this is it - controlling.

"You do it so innately you can't even see you're doing it."
long-term habit? hence my personality/ego? my only thought on how to better this, following my mission statement is to consciously avoid this behaviour? any other suggestions? A herbal remedy perhaps