So I am in 100% understanding that detachment is not a tactic or a ploy. Actually it is all too clear once you begin to the process exactly what it is. Now from my perspective and experience it is a lot like Divorce. Now let me clarify what i mean. When you detach you make a true decision to let go, to say to yourself and to your spouse "listen this is not working for me and i can no longer continue on this path. I need to start living life to fix myself and make myself happy. I hope that you find what you are looking for and i wish you the best. I am going in x,y,z direction and you are going in a,b,c direction. Maybe one day our path will overlap but for the moment i am choosing this path because it is best for me." Now to me that does conjure an image of divorce, maybe i am wrong but that is what i think of when i envision D actually happening.
You've described that extremely well, Rys -- thanks, I now understand what you mean.
I think the problem some might have with what you've described above is that it could also -- almost word-for-word -- be applied to the strategy and mindset of "standing" for one's marriage. The "divorce" part is just the legal (and yes, also spiritual for many) mechanism that either spouse can decide to employ that legalizes it all. But you can also do the "standing" thing for some period of time -- years, even (mind you, I don't necessarily agree with this, but lots and lots here do it, especially MLC'ers) -- and fully detach without ever asking for or initiating a divorce.
