I didn't receive my 6 month T-shirt in the post....should I complain?
A busy day for me today. On the road early and worked all day. In and out of meetings. I have a lovely drive to work and it was a gorgeous spring day here. Also, I work with old friends, so all in all a nice day.
It's great you can remain positive and find reasons to be positive given your circumstances. When these affairs are new, it's very hard not to focus on it due to the pain and become drawn into it and spend all your time worrying about it.
Originally Posted By: Toots
Tomorrow, I have SS and his Mum coming down for a visit. We're going to have some lunch then go visit my parents (SS is very fond of them.) They are staying over and then going home the next day - should be nice.
All quiet on the H front - although he's back from the transatlantic family visit. Trying to just sit with that - although part of me wants to shake him and say - EMAIL ME!!! - it's a part I'm suppressing obviously. I guess detachment is very much a work in progress.
Sounds good. I will explain why in a bit it is nearly impossible to communicate and get responsibility out of a wayward...
Originally Posted By: Toots
I've been reading on other threads how it is best not to even think of your WAH as your H. I get why, but I struggle with that. Even though I'm leading a pretty full and happy life without him, I still think of him as my H. But I accept the point. He has had a whole R with someone else in the past year.....so he may very well not see himself as my H at all. Am I just struggling to accept reality? IDK....
Hope you are all having a good day x
It's easiest to look at the wayward as it's not your spouse anymore. What if they were "just" a boyfriend or girlfriend. You guys had been responsible to each other for years, and they run off. Get another girlfriend or boyfriend. They fall back on you when things get going rought with the new one or for you to do some favours for them, or to make them feel good about themselves.
However when they have run off to the other, they have left you and you aren't really with them anymore nor should you coddle or make it easy to them, tell them to get that from their new relationship partner.
They are hard to communicate with, because they are usually getting a high level of involvement and commmittement from a left behind spouse, yet they are hardly giving anything of themselves down to almost zero commitment and care...
So they have no reason to be good and reliable to you, because they don't have to. The left behind will love them anyway.
So yes, after some time period, I think it helps best with attachment to take them out of the W or H role. They are not performing their job and are fired.
