Hi Parker, I think the best plan is to really dig deep and truly try and understand why you were unfaithful for most of your married life thus far.

It's good that you are on the site, and that you hope to save your M. Equally, I can truly understand why your W would walk away and hope to find happiness with someone else. A part of me says - Boy, I can't blame her. I'm sorry to be blunt, and I accept that I may well be hypersensitive as a betrayed spouse. But, I can't imagine what it might be like to be married to someone who has been unfaithful for almost all of your married life.

In my reading about affairs, I have come across situations described as 'don juan.' Where an H 'needs' pretty regular R's with people outside of the M. That sounds like you, and I wonder why you always needed that involvement with someone else. Hopefully you will explore some of this through counselling.

Also, can I ask. Did you only want to save the M when you had lost your W to someone else? As you say, it may be too late as far as your W is concerned - it may be not - IDK. But I hope you'll do the work for yourself, and that hopefully any future R will be a faithful and healthy one.

Good luck on your DB journey..

Last edited by Toots; 04/14/15 07:27 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus