I Want You

[rob123]

Thanks for the welcome, Cadet and Sandi. I have been on the rollercoaster of ups and downs the past 2 1/2 weeks and am emotionally exhausted. What I believe has been so hurtful is that we had began looking at purchasing a new house about a month or so ago, all the while my W telling me how great I was at everything I did. Then, 2 weeks later, things cannot be reconciled.

I have ordered the Divorce Busting book and it should be delivered prior to this weekend. Like I stated earlier, I feel as though a divorce, would be failing not only our children and ourselves, but our families as well. My W told me that her mother and father basically said that they stood with me and that, again, it's either her family or she is on her own.

I hate it came to that, but I also am displeased that my W attempted to say it was my fault because I put that message on Facebook about wanting prayers. The classical, this is between us, not anyone else argument when what precipitated these irrational feelings in your head is based upon someone else.

It also worries me when she states things like, "I am not sure that I will be happy with anyone" or "I think I may be best on my own for the rest of my life". I asked her initially about being depressed, and even though she is on medications for her depression, she claims that the depression is controlled and has no bearing on her feelings and actions.

When I asked her 2 weekends ago, how would she feel is she were in my shoes, she made a very interesting statement. She told me that she would be incredibly hurt, she would be devastated and that she would not be able to understand what went wrong. I then made the mistake of trying to press on those and tried to 'force' her to love me again.

At the moment, she still tells me she loves me, she still will give an occasional kiss, she acts like things are fairly normal... until there is a bad episode. Those bad episodes really hurt me because I know what she is saying is not correct/rational and I cannot do anything to change her view. I am only in control of me and how I react to those situations.

It's hard enough to say, much less act out when a bad situation is happening.

Again, thanks for the warm welcome!