I just read a post by sandi2 and now I'm concerned with your latest post. Sandi2 told NH115 that the WAW has to feel the loss. When I read your exchanges, I see the opposite. It's quite clear that you are there for her, that you care about her.
I mean, "Happy Monday!"? How is that not pursuing? Just imagine who could send you such a text, especially someone you just dumped. It is filled with neediness and that is not attractive. It says "I really want you to be happy! i care about your feelings. If you're not happy, I'm there." (Pro tip: No more exclamation points)
On your list of things to discuss, I would keep potty training, soccer and the tax returns. I wouldn't dwell on the gifting more than a couple of sentences, like "Let's make sure we don't fall into the trap of showering them with gifts. I know I won't." Move on.
How to react when the kids say "I miss mommy"? You really want her to know that the kids say so, right? There's not much to discuss though. What is the range of reactions you guys could have? It's straightforward: "I understand. You'll see her very soon." It's not like there is a decision or coordination to make.
The call. You want to discuss whether she's been crying on the call? Why? Let her bring it up. You are not in charge of her emotions. If she doesn't bring it up, it's because she doesn't want to. It will be quite annoying for her that you bring it up.
The text. Eeek. This sounds totally like a petty couple fight: "It's just that I didn't see your text. And then I called. But you seem to ignore that..." Seriously, drop it. Water under the bridge. Be the bigger man. You want her to know that you won't tolerate it? Speak with your actions.
Facebook. No warning necessary. Again, you're managing her emotions. You're comforting her that you're there, that she'll always know exactly where you stand. Download the pictures today, unfriend her and that's it. You need to surprise her with your detachment at some point. Remember also that the earlier, the better. If ten years from now, she feels you don't care much about her, it won't have an effect on her. If you did so at BD, then perhaps.
Mahhhty, I'm concerned now. I had been under the impression, from your recent posts, that you were doing better than this. I still see a lot of attachment for her and how it shows. There is a lot of pursuing in your interactions. I wonder if you understand what you need to change and why. If you really hope to R with her, you will have to make these changes.
I can't recall if you have read NMMNG, but if not do it and then pick up Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson. The first three chapters explain attraction, neediness and vulnerability. I think that's what you need to hear now.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
