Wayward Wife and the Way of LRT

[Defacto]

Guys,

Thanks so much for the encouragement and support. I will strongly consider telling OM's wife about the affair. All of your points are valid and well thought out. I do want to discuss it with my DB coach next week and review the timing of it all.

As far as control is concerned, it does feel good to have W out of the house. I finally have some stability there without the constant reminders of W and the affair. I take greatpride in being able to provide a strong and consistent environment for our children in this time of transition.

Additionally, with my W moving in to her parent's house, I know it has made the sitch much more real for her. Hopefully now, she will gain a better vantage point of the consequences of her decisions.

But who knows? I know I can't control her and I am at peace with that.
She will have to find her own way through this mess.

Journaling:

W sent me a text last night at 3am. (She works the night shift at the hospital.) W said she was having a hard time. I never responded.

Just now W called me after her shift and told me that she had a hard time because she was looking through her planner and saw my birthday and our wedding anniversary in it. I responded by saying that "it all happened so fast, didn't it?"

Then W said that there are times she thinks she's making a big mistake but then, there are times she feels "in her gut" that it would never work out between us. I respond by validating her feelings but I tell her I don't agree with everything she said.

Then W stated that my lack of emotion and my newfound happiness just go to further validate that it would never work out between us. W then says that our lives are just on different trajectories.

I respond by saying that I just want her to be happy no matter what path she takes. I also validate W by saying that I think it's great that she has found her own voice through all of this.

W responds by saying she is confused by my approach through all of this. W even refers to the time she felt she was trying to work on our M. I respond by saying that I am just trying to be a bright light for the kids.

I try to end the conversation by telling W I need to get back to work and she should get some rest. I could tell that W was still troubled when I disconnected the call.

How did I do? The call went on longer than I wanted but my DB coach has encouraged me to let W talk about her feelings if she wants to.

I desperately wanted to tell W that I still do want to work on the M but I resisted the temptation to tell her. Was that the right thing to do?

Is it possible the A is over and she just hasn't told me? Should I try to gather some fresh intel? I haven't looked at the phone records for weeks...