FIDO - Changing The Rules - Pt 1

[NH115]

When I called this thread "changing the rules", I didn't expect this. To say that the dynamic has shifted is an understatement.

After I had come to the realization that I no longer felt that connection either, the push-pull dynamic kicked in and her rhetoric and attitude changed significantly.

A couple of nights ago I came home from taking D11 out and she had apparently had some sort of epiphany; she realized how much she missed and needed me after all. She wanted to really jump in to rebuilding our marriage. She had regained her respect and attraction for me, apparently. My reaction was less than enthusiastic.

I had been waiting for this day for 6 months, and when it came, I felt...nothing. No relief, no elation, nothing. I had already made peace with D and I was actually looking forward to starting life again.

I guess I'm having trouble buying it. I don't think she's deliberately lying, but a little over a week ago she was still struggling with her feelings for OM. Three years of festering disconnect, 6 months of hell, and overnight it changes? Suddenly our issues that a couple of weeks ago were insurmountable aren't that big a deal? I guess I'm having trouble wondering that if it can shift one way that quickly, that it can shift back just as quickly.

We had a conversation yesterday where I was asked point blank If I was in love with her, and I said no. She then said that it was best for us to split up.

I backed off a little on that; I basically don't trust my own feelings. I don't want to waste her or my time if there's truly nothing there anymore, but I don't want to throw away something good on a momentary emotion.

Am I an idiot? Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?