Hi Maybell. I can relate to so much of what you wrote, you and I sometimes seem to be a matter of degrees, (with me getting the better end of the deal).
You know Labug is pretty much always on the money and what she says here is the key for me: "we have to love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves and learn to speak up." This is my critical piece, and I'll bet it's really important for you, too.